Archive for August 18th, 2010

Regrets

I try to live my life with no regrets. This hasn’t always been true. I regretted many things in my twenties. I have more than made up for those things in my thirties. I look at opportunities and if I think there might be a possibility I will regret not doing it, then I do it. Funny, but I don’t usually ask if I will regret doing something. Maybe I should because there is something I did last week that I now regret. I gloated about not having been sick for the last year and a half.

Now I’m sick. It started as a sore throat in Maine, then on the flight home it attacked my sinuses. I went to work yesterday, but by mid morning I had regretted that too. This morning, I got up, got dressed, and went out to walk the dog and had every intention of going to work. Halfway through my dog walk, it became clear I wouldn’t make it to work. I went back to bed and woke up at 1230 with a case of the stupid.

My sinuses are plugged, but nothing is running. I don’t look bad. But I feel like crap. I feel dumb. Using the Internet proved too difficult, so I watched tv. Even that was hard.

Now, here it is, just past 2100 and I’m in bed. I’ve used up all my energy trying to type this post on my iPhone. Teeth brushed, lights off, I’m going to bed, hoping that, like Algernon, I’ll be smart in the morning.

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

(reposting Mitchell Sturges)

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

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