Archive for the ‘Karma’ Category

Full Circle

This morning, I walked the dog and fed the pets like always. Then, I called the hospital in New Hampshire, where my mom is staying after her hip replacement, to order flowers to be sent to her room. I know she said no flowers, but I think it is fun to send them anyways. Hospital rooms need some decorations, guests need cheering up, and it is the least I can do since I can’t be there.

The woman at the gift shop who took my information was having a hard time hearing because of all the background noise. I should have made her repeat the full credit card number since after she repeated the first four digits, one of them was wrong. But I didn’t. I should trust my instincts.

I showered and headed to my eye doctor appointment. The office is located in San Jose, and I’ve been enough times that I didn’t ask Siri how to get there. I got lucky and didn’t hit traffic on 280. At the doctor’s office, between the assistant asking me all the good questions about my drinking (yes), smoking (no), and family history (I don’t remember), I was alone in the room for a few minutes when my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize from Vermont.

I answered. I hate those people who do that while in a doctor’s office, but the doctor wasn’t in the room yet. As soon as I started talking, the doctor walked in. Sure enough, the woman at the gift shop had gotten the credit card number wrong. I told her the correct number, hung up, and profusely apologized to the doctor. He said he knows I’m not the kind of person who does that normally, so he figured it was something. I was just trying to be a good daughter.

The doctor went to put drops in my eyes. We had the normal conversation about not dilating my eyes. The last time I had that done was years ago and I came very close to passing out. Sounds got really far away, I had tunnel vision, and I had to lay on the floor with my feet in the air for half an hour. He says that some people have that reaction to it and that they are always good about mentioning it. But these drops were numbing drops so they could touch my eye. I hated the feeling, but I didn’t pass out. 

I got to work in time to watch some live blogs about something. Afterwards, there was cake and champagne before lunch. I failed at my diet today. When I start the day with cake and champagne, all bets are off. So being Tuesday, I went for a (veggie) burger with the boys at the normal Tuesday lunch haunt. I do miss hanging with them, but my wallet, my diet, and my liver keep it from being a regular thing. But I was already down the path of no return today, so I might as well enjoy it.

In the afternoon, in an effort to counterbalance earlier mischievousness, I had a half-caf, non-fat, extra ice, iced latte. Just enough caffeine that I suddenly felt ridiculously productive and even figured out the solution to a coding problem I’d been staring at on and off for days. Next thing I knew, it was after 6 pm and I was already late to dinner.

Dog walked, and pets fed again, I headed to dinner in San Jose. I let Siri tell me how to get there and she directed me away from the highway traffic and over surface roads instead. After parking the car, I rang the door bell, but no one answered, so I walked into the house. I figured the hosts are the kind of people who would find this acceptable. They hadn’t heard the doorbell because everyone was hanging out in the backyard enjoying the lovely evening. I was greeted by the most gigantic, gentlest dog I’ve ever met. He decided I was allowed to enter and let me through.

I was asked often how I know the hosts. The answer is always that we met through Mountain Man from Colorado (we are wondering when Mountain Man will be in town next). He’s a common friend in another state, but no, I have never lived in Colorado, I live here. The hosts are known for picking up strays like myself, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise.

At one point, the men separated from the women, and as seems to be a common theme this week, the conversation turned to breasts. Not mine this time, but another woman who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. So I remind you again, if you are a woman you should get mammograms, and if you are a guy, make sure the women in your life get their mammograms.

Mastectomies, breast replacements, enlargements, and reductions eventually faded away, but somehow dinner conversation evolved into talking about vasectomies and manscaping. It wasn’t me, I swear, since I have no personal knowledge of these things.

Our table of fantastic foods and desserts attracted three female bees, one of which took a nose dive into my wine. She was rescued, but I was on to tea by then anyways, so it wasn’t a problem. I was watching the bees, and one kept falling over as it walked. I asked, “Is it the drunk one that keeps tipping over?” just as one of the women’s chair legs sunk into soft ground and she spilled out of it. “I meant the bee! The bee!” The timing couldn’t have been more perfect and the table erupted in laughter.

Before leaving, I did my best to get Murphy to sit still for a selfie. He’s about as good at getting his photo taken as Perl is. This is the best I got.

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That is not a camera trick. I do not have a tiny head. That really is Murphy’s head. He is enormous!

After tea and dessert, I headed home. I could have found my way, but I like to listen to Siri, since she is usually the only guest I have in my car. She took me past the house, down a different road than the one I’d come in on. We turned a corner and suddenly I recognized the street.

I passed my eye doctor’s office and the day had come full circle.

Night out

I’ve been a bore lately. Actually, it has been more than a year. My excuse in the beginning was that I had to spend my nights and weekends working on the online class I was teaching. Even if I wasn’t working on it, I sat on my couch thinking I should work on it and feeling guilty about it.

In the spring when that ended and I finally felt like I was going to get my life back, I learned that Pablo had diabetes and Mitsy was dying of congestive heart failure. I learned how to give insulin shots every twelve hours and I spent as much time with the pets as possible. I brought Mitsy to the vets three weekends thinking that each time would be her last and bawling like the world had ended. I wasn’t much fun to be with.

It has been a few months since then. Mitsy has passed and I’m learning to manage Pablo’s diabetes. And I’m trying to figure out how to have a life around it. Now that Perl has torn her ACL and is not allowed to run or jump or play for eight weeks, you’d think I’d be home, but just the opposite. If I were home, Perl would want to be out of her kennel running and jumping and playing. Instead, I go home every few hours to walk her and let her stretch, then confine her again and leave. She just thinks I’m neglecting her and I don’t have to hear her whimper.

So Friday night was the company Christmas party. I got al dressed up and went out on the town. I and my feet in the four-inch heels are grateful for the ride home from my Cow-orker and SO. Saturday I stayed home all day, but Perl and Pablo slept all of it. So did I for that matter. Sunday I went to dinner at a friend’s house. He is practicing his gourmet cooking on a small group of us. I do miss Physics Goddess’s cooking!

Monday night I stayed home and had to fast after 8 pm for blood and urine tests the next day. I almost ate beets that night. Really, really, red, dark, staining beets. I stopped myself so the nurse wouldn’t freak out at the color of my urine.

Tuesday night I went out with Mountain Man’s friends. I’ve been out with them a couple times now but still think of them as his friends, so I’ll stick with that until they have names. It was her birthday. We went to Tony P’s on Park Ave in San Jose. They have lunch service, but no dinner service yet, so they let us bring in dinner from somewhere else until then.

We had a blast. I met a bunch of new people. They are a great group and I enjoy their Second Tuesdays out.

Tonight I went up to the city for a bizarro world version of an event that happened five years ago. This time the interviewer was the interviewee. A lot has happened in five years.

The event went well with free wine and tamales provided by local vendors. I met a couple new people, but tried to lay low for the most part. I was there to support my friend and his work.

On the way out, my friend was carrying luggage on his way to catch a red-eye flight. The car was waiting out front. As we walked up the stairs, his bag rubbed against the wire mesh net along the stairs and in the blink of an eye, was attached. We all tried detaching the bag. One of the wires had slipped inside the zipper pull. I bent a key and broke a nail trying to open the pull. Someone found a hammer and we used the claw to pry open the zipper pull enough to release the wire. Seriously, I can totally believe this freak thing happened to him. Maybe he needs to work on his karma points.

He dropped me off at the train station, but since the train only runs once an hour, I had twenty-seven minutes to kill, so I went to the restaurant across the street.

The place was packed at quarter past nine at night. There was no room at the bar, just a high table for six. I said I was just looking for a drink to waste a few minutes. The waiter seated me at the empty table so I could look down upon the crowd.

A guy walked in. He was looking to have dinner alone. I offered him to share my table. His name is Brandon. He lives in the OC. An accountant. In town for work. From Chicago. School in Wisconsin. Lives with roommates. We got as much in as we could in twenty minutes. My version of speed dating. But then I left him. I had five minutes to get to the train. I said I’d come back if I missed it.

I missed the light and had to stop. As I did, the girl standing on the corner said she loved my jacket. The color. The fit. The way I walked in it. Turns out she is a fashion design major. The light turned.

I made the train.

Do you wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t?

Karma points achieved!

We succeeded.  We should soon all be earning karma points.  Thank you to everyone who donated to my karma-point cause!  I’ve mailed an iPad mini, an iPod Touch, a mini cover and an Apple t-shirt to Sonny and his parents.  They should be arriving in the next few days.

Thank you again for all your help!  I was overwhelmed by your kindness!

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Let’s earn some karma points together!

A former coworker wrote to me recently to ask a favor. I’ll let her explain why…

My nephew, Sonny is a year old and has an autoimmune enteropathy called IPEX Syndrome There are less than 200 cases in the world, but can be treated with a bone marrow transplant. He is scheduled to go in for his transplant December 3rd. Right now, Sonny is in isolation to prepare for his chemotherapy and surgery. My brother works in construction and can only see Sonny during the weekends because of the potential to carry a bacteria from the job site to the hospital…Sonny will be in the hospital for four to six months. When he comes home, only his mom and dad will be able to see him. The rest of our family will be able to see him (when everything goes well 😊 ) two years after the surgery.

So she is looking for two iPads so they can use FaceTime to talk to Sonny while he is in isolation. Sorry, I should have warned you to get a box of tissues.

She was just looking for a discount, but I know we can do better than that. So what I’m looking for are donations—$5, $10, $20. I’ll take cash, check or credit card in person, or you can send it through PayPal at neptonia@me.com with a note that says, “Karma for Sonny”. If I collect more than is needed for the iPads, I’ll send it to the Red Cross for disaster victims.

I’m also looking for two people to offer an iPad discount. I used mine on another family this year.

Please, will you be part of my latest scheme to earn karma points?

Update
I’m all set on the discounts. I’ve also learned that I can get charity donation receipts so you can write off anything you donate.

Cowards

This is the note that I found on my car today.

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A little bit of context is required here. For the last few weeks, I’ve been driving Miss Moneypenny thanks to The Cravat loaning her to me while I had Das Boot on my foot. Myrtle sat idle in my carport and I asked The Archivist, who is in the process of selling her place and moved out months ago, if I could use her carport for Miss Moneypenny. A few days before I said adieu to Das Boot, our carport was painted and I had a friend move Myrtle out into the cold, unprotected wilds next to the porta-potty being used by the painters. Miss Moneypenny eventually ended up in my carport, and now that I’ve been back to driving Myrtle for a week, she has been parked in The Archivist’s spot.

Seeing as The Archivist has not called me in excitement to tell me that her place has sold, and seeing as I just saw her when she came to dinner on Thursday night, I was surprised to see this note on my car today using the word “our” and referring to The Archivist’s carport. She was just as surprised when I sent her the photo.

So I have written a letter “to whomever left the anonymous, threatening note on my car today” and placed it on my car. It took every ounce of self control I had not to use the word “cowardly”. I explained how I broke my foot and have been borrowing a car and will be returning it on Monday. I explained how the owner of the unit graciously allowed me to use her parking space and how we thought it was also a good way to make her place not look abandoned. I also explained that in the months that it has been empty, I have been acting as caretaker, making sure that it is secured and no one has broken in or vandalized the empty unit. I went on to explain that today, while they were writing me a threatening note, I was sitting watch as the paint dried on their newly painted door. We recently had the doors painted, but in order to paint the edges, I had to have my door open for at least four hours. So I took care of my neighbor’s door too while I was home watching the paint dry on my own door.

And the gratitude I received from my supposedly new neighbors was to threaten to call the cops on me.

Karma.

Misplaced posts

Hah! I just found that on the night I broke my foot, I was so out of it that I created two new Pages instead of Posts. So, for a little bit of entertainment, I’m moving them here.

F^&4@2′g karma

Karma just gave me what I deserve. I stepped in a f!,@’@/&;g pothole and now I’m crawling around my place like I don’t have legs. F&;&ㅜㅜ !!!!!1!!

Fail

Here I am. Sitting on a bag of fertilized soil that I have dragged from my outside closet after crawling here in search of my crutches of which only has one foot, causing my desperate attempt to find the second foot. I feel pathetic. Broken. Subservient to to chunk of marble I’ve pulled from my closet in hopes of finding the crutch foot.

Today I heckled comedians. I talked spitefully against Meine Schwester. I spoke ill of others. I deserve everything I’ve gotten as I sit here in the cold and dark, contemplating crawling back inside.

Karma is sweet revenge.

Kids or beer?

Yesterday, the two girls I tutor told me that they were going to be Chocolate in their 5th grade school play tonight. They suggested that I watch.

But Wednesday nights are quiz night!

It wasn’t much of a dilemma. The play was at 1900 and quiz night starts at 1930. I still made no plans to be at quiz night. I had to go to a school play.

They found me in the audience part way through and they had the biggest smiles. Then after the show, before finding their families, they ran up to me. I told them they were awesome. And teased them that they didn’t warn me that I would also have to sing and dance as part of the audience participation. They giggled.

It was so worth it.

And I even got to quiz night in time for the first quiz. We came in third after a miraculous come from behind. Our two ringers were MIA tonight, so we had to make do. We had fun, and that is what matters, right?

And once again, I have the best life ever.

Kids AND beer!

Et tu, Brute?

I just realized that yesterday was the Ides of March. Everything is so clear to me now. No wonder the world was out to get me!

Now if you will excuse me, I have to bike to tutoring now since I can’t drive with an expired license…

Monday.

Rode my bike to work this morning.
Realized I forgot my phone when I got out of the shower.
Was checking my email when I got the reminder to sign up for the golf league.
Shit, forgot my checkbook.
Called fitness center and left voicemail to find out if they take credit cards.
Waited for them to call back.
No, they only take checks.
And they only have 5 spots left.
Shit.
Got new kid to drive me to bank.
He drives slower than my grandma.
Meme is a speed demon.
Arrived at the bank.
Asked for a cashiers check.
They asked for my driver’s license.
Then they asked if I had a valid drivers license.
What!?
It expired on my birthday.
Saturday.
Shit.
I said thank you for noticing because I wouldn’t have found out until I was pulled over.
I said it was good I rode my bike to work today.
And had new kid drive me here.
They decided to ignore the expiration this one time.
Then I ran out with the check and told new kid to get back in the car and hurry!
I hoped the bank didn’t hear me yell, Go, Go, Go!
Arrived at the fitness center.
I ran inside with the check.
Only three spots left.
I signed us up.
They asked for my partner’s birthday.
I don’t know.
Wait! I went to her birthday party yesterday!
Do you know what year?
Um, do you have a periodic table of elements?
I just turned Krypton.
No Superman for me.
Maybe 27?
1983?
Sure.
Do you know her email address?
No.
I forgot my phone.
When I biked to work.

I’m making a comeback

I met a nice AA pilot on the shuttle to the airport. Told him I didn’t know how he flies constantly. I’m tired already. Wished him an uneventful flight to Orlando.

The smallest bill I had was a five, so I over-tipped the shuttle driver. He had been very smiley and nice to me, and he is working on a holiday, so it was worth it. And to make up for under-tipping the shuttle driver last night. Also, I’m hoping to rebalance my karma points today.

Bought a croissant and some vitamin water to subdue my angry stomach. I probably should have bought snacks for the flight. Hrm.

I witnessed an amazing sunrise this morning. ‘Nuff said.

When I arrived at the gate, I heard the voice of god asking people to check their carry-on bags. In exchange, I was allowed to board immediately after first class. This could be a win or lose depending on how long I have to wait at baggage claim and whether the time spent causes me to miss the train to CT. But that adds a little excitment to the day, don’t you think?

I was going to say I’d be offline for a few hours, but I just remembered this flight has wifi. I’m still uncertain as to whether that is a win or lose as well.

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