After getting too many messages from people who are age 20 or think that they should be having sex every single day, I’ve decided to limit the number of messages I see on OKCupid by updating my profile. I always tried to keep my profile short, sweet, positive and to the point. But I realize, people need to know exactly what they are getting themselves into. So this morning, I added a bit more about myself.
Read it and tell me, have I gone too far? Or is it better to know exactly where I stand?
[[Please read this entirely before contacting me. Thanks!]]
I asked friends for three words and the first response was, “alluring, amusing, and amazing.” A close second was, “sassy smart vixen.”
I’m not your typical [[geek]]. I prefer waking early in the mornings. I prefer real life, and I shower regularly unless I’m in a country without potable water. I believe that technology should be unobtrusive, but beautiful. I also believe technology should be left at home occasionally. And I have a healthy streak of sarcasm.
I love live [[bands]], a [[science]] museum, or reading a good book. I’ll try just about anything once except for jumping out of a perfectly good plane. And I’ll take a campfire, or a morning kayak any day of the week.
Over the years, I’ve formed some very strong opinions about touchy subjects. I don’t believe that politics, religion, and sex should be avoided on a first date, so I’ll mention them here and get them out in the open.
- If you are under 28, turn back now. I am not a cougar. I am not a notch in your bedpost, and no, you can not come over so you can do your laundry. If I wanted a child, I’d adopt.
- I am a strong-willed, confident, independent woman. I do not need nor want constant hand holding—literally or figuratively. I’m not a big fan of public displays of affection and I don’t need to be in constant contact with you physically or electronically. I’ll respect that you have a job and are busy and expect you will do the same for me.
- I’m not interested in organized religion. I consider myself a recovering Catholic. It’s like being a recovering alcoholic—I’m never not one, I just don’t practice. It is hard to get past the brainwashing. I broke up with the Catholic Church because I shouldn’t be treated differently because I’m a woman. Neither should gay people for that matter. And sex isn’t a sin.
- I don’t believe in God or Jesus any more than I believe in Zeus and Hercules. They are stories that ancient people told.
- I get my news from NPR, The NYTimes, The Atlantic, and other online sources. I don’t watch network news because of its sensationalism. I definitely never watch Fox News, if you can call it that.
- I am centrist, but am forced to vote on the left because I think the right has gone off the deep end. I’d like to see balanced budgets with cuts made all around—leaving the departments to decide how to implement them—and tax loopholes removed. I’d love it if the government were more efficient, but I think they would have to hire smarter people first.
- Science is something you understand, not something you believe in. I understand the effects humankind has had on global warming and am trying to do my part to stop it.
- I’m a vegetarian. I’m not against people eating meat, but you should understand where meat comes from, the effect it has on the environment and have made your peace with it. I will occasionally eat meat when it is something special.
- Ignorance is never an excuse. I actually don’t believe in excuses. I try to own up to things I get wrong. If I’m late, it’s because I didn’t plan enough time to get where I was going.
- I believe in becoming friends before lovers. In other words, I’m not interested in making out with you or going home with you on a first, second, or third date. I am a long-term, Wall Street investment, not a Vegas slot machine.
- I don’t believe in having sex as often as you brush your teeth. I enjoy sex and I don’t want to go weeks without it if I’m in a relationship, but if you are unable to go weeks without it, I’ll never trust you when we are apart.
- Speaking of brushing your teeth, I go to the dentist every six months and appreciate good teeth. It is hard to kiss someone with bad teeth.
- I never want to be in a situation where I question getting an abortion, but if I do, I want safe, legal choices.
- I have shot guns before. I don’t own any and have no interest in being with someone who does. I’m a firm believer that the pen is mightier than the sword. And the people I know who own guns are usually the most mentally unstable people I know.
- I am a feminist, but I won’t balk at a little chivalry like holding the door open for me.
- I don’t like country or rap music. I will tolerate it in small doses, but don’t expect me to grow to like it.
- I have worked hard to get where I am and I expect you to have as well. Ambition is a turn on.
If you got this far and laughed because you feel the same way, then keep reading. ;-)