This isn’t something I usually think about–being unclothed and in my place of employment. However, since I’ve been riding my bike to work lately (twice this week, more to come next week!), I’ve been taking a shower when I arrive. Since I have all my best thoughts in the shower, my thought this morning was about earthquakes. What would happen if there was an earthquake while I was taking a shower and I had to grab my clothes and escape the building. No one ever expects a naked co-worker to come running out, clothes in hand, hair wet, soap trailing behind.
This brought up a thought I’ve had before. I’d like to see statistics on the number of people caught with their pants down during an earthquake. How many people were on the toilet, in the shower, having sex? This isn’t really something I concerned myself with on the east coast because all of our natural disasters were fairly planned. No one ever exclaims, “Oh my God, it’s a Nor’eastah!” Usually, it involves days of planning. Thunderstorms are a little more sudden, but for the most part, I usually heard them coming and could extract myself from any situation before it could become awkward. I guess fire is something that could catch me unaware.
I had a dream once that I was in a bathroom on a plane. Pants down and part way into my business, I realized that the plane was in a nose dive and I was about to die with my pants around my ankles. Yes, this makes it difficult for me to actually convince myself it is safe to use the lavatory while flying. I know it is ridiculous, but I wonder if it stems from years of TV moms telling us all to wear clean underwear because you never know when you will have an accident and have to go to the hospital.
So yes, showering at work is a rather awkward situation and evokes thoughts of other awkward situations. Of course, when my co-workers realize I’ve been showering at work, I usually see little cartoon bubbles pop up above their head. The hot girl (who looks nothing like me), barely visible through the steam, soaping every inch of her body and making noises from an Herbal Essence commercial. Or they just ask for the video feed URL. I’ve had strange dreams mixing college with work where I’m wrapped in a towel, carrying my toiletry basket through the halls to my office. I’ve been told that if I want to do that, no one will complain. I don’t think I’ll try it anytime soon. Maybe if there is an earthquake…