Chameleon

This has to be one of the most bizarre weekends yet. It wasn’t even really a weekend of oddness, just twenty four hours of life that I couldn’t invent if I tried.

Friday night started off normal enough. Went to A&M’s house to have dinner with them and C. Perlie met their new dog. Their dog has a few teeth missing, so it’s tongue hangs out the side of her mouth constantly. You couldn’t take her seriously if you tried.

Saturday morning I did laundry and then went to lunch and shopping with Neighbor K. Spent way, way too much money, but bought some really cute new shirts and a skirt. She is my new fashion consultant. I picked out one of my new outfits to wear that evening, did my hair, put on a little makeup, and drove in the rain to the city. Thus began the Twilight Zone episode.

I stopped to pick up Roommate K. You may remember her from earlier as the fashion student with the bartending job. Roommate B, who will now be referred to as Omar, asked me to pick her up on my way to the classical music recital we were all going to.

The recital was a pianist—Allison Lovejoy, a mezzo-soprano—Holly Rae Brown (both friends of Omar), and a clarinet player—Lux Brahn who was visiting from Zurich. They played a selection of German, French, and Italian songs with a little bit of Rachmaninov thrown in for good measure. The trio was quite impressive.

On arrival, Omar was no where to be found, but we did find two other girls who had come on invitation from Omar. I know that Omar attempted to invite his brother and the guy from ice skating, but both backed out at the last minute. Boy were they missing out!

Omar showed up after the first few songs with Vampire Girl. Sorry Omar, I know you like her, but she has very pale skin, dark hair and red lipstick. Soon after that, arrived Roommate Bertha, who I wish I could rename now because she no longer makes me think of a Bertha at all. She was on lunch break from the psych ward.

I couldn’t stop laughing to myself about Omar and his Harem. Even the girl in front of me smiled at Omar when he came in. He is just so damn charismatic. I began making up new stories for Omar. For example, he doesn’t do global research for a shipping company, he drives one of their trucks. Also, that he really is gay, but surrounds himself with beautiful women to try to hide it. I started observing the competition because I felt like it was a bad version of The Bachelor. I determined that I had an alliance with Roomie K and Ice Skater B. Roomie K, being a roommate would be an invaluable source of insider information. All of them had made eye contact with him when he entered. I refused to. Not going to be that easy, Omar.

At intermission, like flies to a light, we all gathered around Omar. He introduced everyone around. That was when I met Vampire Girl who kept attaching herself to Omar. Curious. I think he would have mentioned if his girlfriend was coming from Geneva. Her name began with an A though, and that didn’t match the M on his necklace…the one that he wasn’t wearing tonight. Even more curious.

After the concert, two of Omar’s harem went home, but we picked up the performers, the three people working to tape them, and one or two others. We did managed to add three men to the group, but one was already taken and the other two weren’t all that interesting.

We all went to dinner. It was a cute little Mexican place in the MIssion down the street from the Community Music Hall that we had gone to. There was a fun game of musical chairs. Roomie K and I in the center on one side of the table, Vampire Girl and Omar on the other side. Vampire Girl went to the bathroom and returned to find The Pianist had taken her seat. The Pianist gave Vampire Girl her seat back and Omar gave The Pianist his. Omar then sat next to Roomie K who soon went with The Pianist to smoke. Omar then took Roomie K’s seat so he was now next to me and across from Vampire Girl. Then the music stopped and everyone had a seat.

I chatted with Omar for most of the dinner and was amused when he occasionally would feed me. It was strange because what I could gather was that The Pianist who seems to be friends with Vampire GIrl was under the impression that Vampire Girl and Omar are dating. What happened to Geneva Girl.

After dinner, Omar went with Vampire Girl and Roomie K came with me. We meet back at the house that Omar and Roomie K share with Bertha and Not-A-Japanese-Yoga-Instructor who is no where to be seen this evening. Roomie K and I passed a shooting along the way. The cops and fire truck are there.

Omar is dog sitting for the gay couple next door, so he and I put the dogs in the garage while Roomie K, our resident bartender, starts raiding the liquor cabinet for what they won’t miss. Not long after getting there, Vampire Girl tells us she has to get up early and heads home. Roomie K, Bertha, Omar, and I continue to drink. Roomie K and Omar conspire. A shot must be drunk by all to ensure I can’t go home. Like I’m really going to complain.

After the shot, Rooomies K and Bertha head to their house. Omar and I retrieved the poor, big, black labs from the garage, where we realize the BMW convertible is unlocked with the top down, so we hop in. Yes, I do think it odd that we are sitting in a stranger’s garage in their car after having drank their alcohol. I just watched a Law & Order the other day about teens partying in the houses where they are dog sitting. I’m wondering since when I thought it was a good idea to re-enact things I see on TV. We hear voices outside. Seems the Roomies got as far as out the door then stopped to smoke.

Back on the couch, I give Omar a hard time about being a man-whore. He’d wondered how long it would take before I realized he wasn’t wearing the necklace. Things still aren’t over, but they aren’t as rosy as they used to be. Yes, he hooked up with Vampire Girl. I’m still not sure if he really, really likes her or if it was a random thing, but he calls her to tell her he won’t be coming over tonight. Guess she figured that out cause he said she didn’t answer.

I hate that I love just talking to Omar, but I like that I can just be myself. At least I think I can. It takes me a long time after meeting someone to know if I am really being me or if I’m just adapting to the situation. I’m so used to change that I don’t know if I know who I am, but I’ve been working on fixing that for the past year. Omar—that is my fatal character flaw, since you asked and I wouldn’t tell you.

Great conversation and a much needed neck massage later, I found myself sleeping (yes, just sleeping, get your mind out of the gutter!) in a stranger’s t-shirt, in a stranger’s bed and awake at 7:30 am when the sun filled the room and the dogs started getting antsy to go out. They wouldn’t go out into the backyard when I tried, so Omar had to let them out. Since we were awake, I put on stranger’s boots and we walked the pups to the top of Bernal Heights. Yes, N, J&K. I was two streets over and one block down from you for part of this surreal twenty-four hour event.

The morning was absolutely perfect! Bright blue sky, and warm. A perfect view of San Francisco. I didn’t want to leave. It was simply incredible.

We spent the rest of the morning pretending that we lived in the stranger’s house. I showered and have smelled like gay man all day. I loved their shampoo! We ate breakfast out on the back deck and Omar made a comment about Mom and Dad having breakfast on the back porch while the kids (dogs) slept just inside the door. We took his bike to the backyard and replaced the tires. I called iDad and P from the back deck while getting some sun and looking out at the view. Pretended it was any normal surreal Sunday morning.

Then we went to Grace Cathedral where an old friend of Omar’s had requested he videotape her performance. Being Earth Day, The Cathedral had a little celebration with snacks and drinks, some booths promoting the earth and one performance artist. Omar video taped Diana Marto, dressed in white, as she danced with paper replicas of whale bones. Her significant other made whale sounds on this interesting metal gizmo using a violin bow.

After her performance, I asked her how she decided to become a performance artist. She relayed a story of moving to California from the East Coast with her husband. He took her to a secret beach in Big Sur and said that once they were there, she would want to take off all her clothes. She thought it was a bit cold for that, but when she got to the beach, she disrobed and danced around with her towel. She said it was the 70’s. That was the beginning of her career as a performance artist.

There were numerous characters gathered around. My favorite old lady was about 90, wearing a bright green dress with matching shoes. She also wore a full length fur coat with a fur hat. I wandered around to the booths and managed to pick up some chocolate, lotion, and a free compact fluorescent lightbulb from PG&E.

When done with his duties, Omar and I toured around the Cathedral. This included following their Labyrinth. We then ended our surrealistic day with coffee in The Richmond at a little Cuban Cafe.

I dropped Omar off on a street corner, then proceeded to get lost trying to get home. Drove the length of the Golden Gate Park, then down along the coast. It was beautiful and relaxing. I knew that I could call someone to get directions, but I wasn’t in a rush to shed the surrealism of the day.

By tomorrow morning, this will all seem like some strange dream. There is no way that I can top it next weekend.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Waterbury Girl on April 23, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    The really surreal part of the story is the way your friends all have single letters for names. It makes it very hard to follow the plot. Also, it took me a little while to figure out when you were talking about a utility, not a person.I think you should just give everyone fake names.

    Reply

  2. Posted by The Ex-Intern on April 23, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    With respect to changing too much and not knowing who you are, everything we do, we try to make a future self happy. We save for his or her retirement, we eat a certain thing so that he or she can look a certain way to fit in a certain pair of pants or dress at a certain wedding. And so on. Everybody has this, it’s not a character flaw. It’s prone to error, of course, because the person we are in the future may not be the person we were planning on becoming when we were planning their future.Every now and then, we fall out of planning/does this make sense mode and into something where we are just in the moment, staying at a stranger’s house, walking their dogs in their boots. You were in the present, briefly, knowing what you wanted. All in all, it sounds like you had a fun weekend. I think my priorities might be different, as waking up in a gay man’s house is not on the agenda. Though I am moving to SF so it will be increasingly probable…

    Reply

  3. Posted by Lowell on April 23, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    Maybe my life is more strange then I thought but I’m not seeing what was so surreal or odd about that weekend. It sounds like you had fun though so I hope you have more weekends like that.

    Reply

  4. Posted by k. on April 23, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    I’m trying to give everyone nicknames, but they have to be earned somehow. Omar got his nickname because one of the women at the cathedral told me the story of meeting Omar. She had just broken up with a guy named B when she met B. She couldn’t deal with calling him B, so she now calls him by his middle name. Come to find out, his middle name once got him kicked off a flight to Israel. He’d wanted to fly that airline because they knew how safe they were. Customs asked why that was his middle name and he jokingly said, “Americans like to name their children after actors and other famous people.” (He is actually named after his dad’s favorite architect, not the actor.) They didn’t think that was a good enough answer and kicked him off. Just proves they really are a safe airline. ;-)As for planning for a future self, I have no idea who I will be in the future. I have a better idea of who I have been in the past. I am starting to figure out who I am today. The trouble is that it takes me a while to figure out if I’m doing something because I like it or because I think I should try it to see if I like it. And I’ll try something new a few times before rushing to a decision. It means many quickly fading hobbies and infatuations. At the same time, I don’t mind because it means I’ve tried many things and there is a lot more to come.

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