Archive for June, 2008

Today’s dream

I go back to teaching at the last minute. Some sort of emergency. I'm
cleaning up my desk which happens to be an old piece Moosehead
furniture we had. In it, someone has left lots of spaghetti over the
last three years. Gross.

I keep checking my email on my phone and draining the battery. I
forget to check my physical mailbox. Realize classes are starting and
I don't have a roster. Or lesson plans. Eh, I can wing it.

I'm at home in Maine. Mom has sent us on a wild goose chase involving
boats. We are all sitting on the deck of the lodge when we find out
that my grandfather is still alive but he and my grandmother have
divorced and he is now with his high school sweetheart who likes to
buy stuffed teddy bears on the home shopping channel.


Don’t mess with Texas

Had my photo “professionally” done the other day. It was actually an Aperture demonstration, but really it was a demo of how great photos can come out with the right camera and lighting, despite the subject matter. Case in point, is the photo below. You can see more normal people in the gallery.

Make me a motivational poster, I dare you!

What it is like to be me

Neighbor S got a taste tonight. She had to pet Pablo with one hand while fending off jealous Perl with the other.

She is lucky not to have to endure Pablo's Claws of Death!

No, you choose the restaurant

I have a horrible time picking a place to eat. This has been a point of contention for years. Someone asks me where I want to eat. I say I don’t care. I really, truly don’t care. Is there going to be food there? Great! Lets go!

It boils down to this. Growing up, we weren’t given a choice of what to eat. We rarely ever went out to eat. Mom made dinner. Dinner was placed on the table. We all sat around the table and ate. If we didn’t want what was on the table, then we could go hungry. Simple as that. There were no choices.

We ate everything we put on our plate. If we didn’t, then we learned to scoop less the next time. It wasn’t as bad as some. A friend and my father both tell stories of siblings fighting over food. Out of habit, Dad used to devour his dinner in five minutes flat. We were also often reminded that there are starving kids in Africa. After 18 years, this gets engrained in your head as how things work.

When asked recently how my work was going, I said it was like eating my vegetables. They all stared at me and said that they didn’t get it. To me, this has always been synonymous with doing something I don’t like because I have to do it. Maybe these people liked all vegetables when they were kids. I didn’t. I still don’t. But to me, it is also compounded by the fact that if I didn’t eat my vegetables, I’d be hungry later.

These are the same people who could probably be classified as foodies. I’m not. I still consider food as a survival tool, not something you eat for enjoyment. Trust me, I’ve never really been hungry. My parents always did a good job of keeping me fed. But we were taught to eat everything on our plate whether you like it or not. My sister and I still have a hard time with this. At restaurants, the portions are too big, but we feel like we have to finish the whole thing, even if we don’t like it. Not the best mindset for keeping a girlish figure.

Tonight, Neighbor S and I went out to dinner. I’ve learned strategies that I can use to help narrow down where to eat, but I can’t get to the final decision. I told her that I had Mexican last night, so we could cross that off the list. She asked what I had for lunch today. Well, since I hadn’t left the house, I had to admit that I’d had cereal. No milk because that had soured. I have a hard time feeding myself. I’d rather go to bed hungry than to go grocery shopping and make dinner for one. Maybe because it is so depressing. Or because I feel guilty when the food in my fridge goes bad.

There are starving kids in Africa, you know.

Stories from the past

A couple weeks after getting my license, I was driving three of my friends in my dad's beat up old four door Subaru on a back road in Maine. A cop passed, then turned around and put on his lights.

My first instinct? Ditch the car on the side of the road and run into the woods. Obviously, too much tv, and I lived about 45 minutes from Stephen King, so I think there was something in the water.

The officer asked for my driver's license. I wasn't used to carrying it yet, so I didn't have it. Oops.

Then he asked me, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"No, sir."

"You don't have a front license plate."

I blurted out, "Are you kidding?"

Lacking all humor, he said, "Do you think I'd lie to you?"

Thus began my run-ins with the law.

Latest dream

My mother and I are travelling. I was late getting my stuff in the cab. The cab driver pissed me off. He was taking his time and at the airport he took out our bags but then stood as far away as possible. I like to be touching my luggage at all time and he made this impossible. I gave him a ten and a twenty for a twenty dollar fare. He was very short, not that it mattered.

Then at the airport, this two year old is running around screaming and gets in our way to the ticket booth. We miss our flight on Southwest and are now stuck in this dingy terminal in South Korea.

I send Mom to the counter to get us new flights while I watch our stuff. I meet a Canadian hockey team for retirees. Mom comes back with flights to Shenzen, China and then to Cleveland. I ask if she tried Hartford or Providence since Southwest doesn't fly into Boston.

Mom runs to the counter shouting the attendants name, but the woman is busy calling the hockey players by name to have them line up.

I go to the bathroom. There are no stall doors. I'm trying to poo when this college girl comes in. She starts talking to me about how she missed her flight and where she is getting rerouted. I just want her to leave me alone.

When I'm leaving the bathroom, the attendant is nailing a reed cover over the entranceway. She knows the girl is still in there but she is singing and smiling and shutting her in. My mom and I are the only ones left in the terminal and I'm not convinced our flight is tonight.

She hadn't gotten us any closer than Cleveland. I asked if we should buy tickets from Cleveland to New England. She thought this was a great idea and went to the counter again. The attendant was going home and not selling any more tickets today.

Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

From Best of Craigslist. Too bad this is closed. I definitely could have applied for this job!

Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

Date: 2008-05-07, 2:49PM PDT

I’ve been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I’m 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I’m old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I’m willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, “Ahha, we meet again”. That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.