Involuntary celibacy

In my googling for information about unrequited and forbidden love, I ran into involuntary celibacy, and at the risk of making fun of myself, I have to share some of my favorite parts of the Wikipedia entry.

An involuntarily celibate person is someone who fails to initiate or sustain a sexual or romantic relationship, despite his/her desire to experience such a relationship. Afflicted people may suffer from loneliness, frustration, and may be mistaken for homosexuals who are hiding their sexuality.

Critics to this view suggest that the proper label for this is simply being “single”, which, unlike “involuntarily celibate,” is in common usage and does not carry potential social stigma.

Also, involuntary celibacy could lead to self-absorption and an unhealthy preoccupation with human sexuality .

In many societies (especially Western), heterosexual men are traditionally almost always required to assume the assertive role in pursuing the opposite sex and courtship is considered a competitive sport amongst single, eligible men, who typically employ verbal strategies and tactics to seduce women. Proficiency at these tactics, is called having “game” in American slang, and this is frequently equated with confidence, a trait that is popularly valued in men by women. Because confidence and “game” exist independently of socio-economic status, a man of lower education and status can frequently win a woman’s attention away from a man of higher education and status. This attitude is taken by the seduction community, a group that believes that “seducing” women can be scientifically studied and improved.

Although involuntary celibacy is often associated with love-shyness, love shy individuals do not necessarily experience a lack of people who would consider them attractive. Love shy individuals may simply fail to reciprocate another’s attraction toward them or fail to be proactive in pursuing potential romantic interests, even when success is in their favor.


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