Dear Matt Damon

Did you lose a bet? Did George Clooney put you up to this? Was this your Theron Moment? Is this the new right of passage? You must be secure in your sex appeal, because that movie is putting a cramp in any fantasies I was expecting to have.

Maybe I should have watched a trailer, or read up about The Informant! before I went to see it. I went into the theatre thinking I was going to see an action packed Jason Bourne-esque thriller. What I saw was a guy who had put on a lot of weight, looked like he was straight from the 70’s, and I almost spit out my soda when you adjusted your ‘hair piece’.

Dude, Ben Affleck’s got nothing on you!

Oh, and if you or Clooney ever find yourselves single, give me a call, k?

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