Sleep Talkin’ Man

I am laughing so hard that I’m crying. My sides hurt. Please, make it stop, Sleep Talkin’ Man!

A sample:

“Flap’s on fire. Your flap’s on fire! Chili in the vagiiiiina. I’m a bad bad boy.”

“Don’t… Don’t put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They’ll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings.”

“Oompa loompas don’t sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds.”

“Legs time! Everybody get your legs!”

“Please just walk away. I don’t want to have to stand here and say something so awesome that I’ll have to remember it the rest of the day. Thank you!”

“You can stop clapping now if you want. Really. You’ll need your energy for cheering me later. Shhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhh.”

[yelled upon waking] “COCK HUNTER!”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: