Archive for January 29th, 2010

A discussion with The Bills

Had a dream that I was at this small, outdoor convention that hadn’t started yet. There were kids running around unsupervised. I was making my way up to the stage when I ran into Bill Clinton and asked, Can I help you, sir? He was relaxed, and suave, and he gave me a key card and two gold keys and asked if I could hold them during his speech. Then he said that I was pretty enough, maybe I could stand on stage behind him, very still, and just look good. I just looked at him and said, Yes, sir.

We were on stage, sitting at a picnic table on the side, waiting for it to start, I didn’t notice until I woke up that after I looked away at the crowd and then back again, Bill Clinton had turned into Bill Gates. So he talked about his humanitarian work. He was distracted by the kids running around and seemed nervous. He kept mishearing what I was saying. My friend, Sock, sat down with us at the table for a moment.

I said we should move behind the podium. I reached into a shelf under the picnic table to get the two gold keys and the keycard which had morphed into a ziplock bag with the core of an old lock pulled out of a door and two rusty mismatched keys. Next to it was half a pill pack of Sudaphed.

As he walked four steps ahead of me, I realized neither of the Bills recognized that I was the main keynote speaker for the day and they were second billing.

Oh! My speech!

I went back for it in the picnic table and was rifling through papers when I remembered I didn’t need it because I had memorized it.

That was when the dog woke me.