Monday.

Rode my bike to work this morning.
Realized I forgot my phone when I got out of the shower.
Was checking my email when I got the reminder to sign up for the golf league.
Shit, forgot my checkbook.
Called fitness center and left voicemail to find out if they take credit cards.
Waited for them to call back.
No, they only take checks.
And they only have 5 spots left.
Shit.
Got new kid to drive me to bank.
He drives slower than my grandma.
Meme is a speed demon.
Arrived at the bank.
Asked for a cashiers check.
They asked for my driver’s license.
Then they asked if I had a valid drivers license.
What!?
It expired on my birthday.
Saturday.
Shit.
I said thank you for noticing because I wouldn’t have found out until I was pulled over.
I said it was good I rode my bike to work today.
And had new kid drive me here.
They decided to ignore the expiration this one time.
Then I ran out with the check and told new kid to get back in the car and hurry!
I hoped the bank didn’t hear me yell, Go, Go, Go!
Arrived at the fitness center.
I ran inside with the check.
Only three spots left.
I signed us up.
They asked for my partner’s birthday.
I don’t know.
Wait! I went to her birthday party yesterday!
Do you know what year?
Um, do you have a periodic table of elements?
I just turned Krypton.
No Superman for me.
Maybe 27?
1983?
Sure.
Do you know her email address?
No.
I forgot my phone.
When I biked to work.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by breadwild on March 15, 2010 at 11:14 am

    Hilarious!! Now, that is.

    When you said “He drives slower than my grandma.” I knew who it was.

    Reply

  2. Admit it, today was worth it for this epic blog post.

    Reply

  3. Awesome.

    Reply

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