Beware my wrath!

Yesterday I yelled at an old woman. Today I called the cops. What next?

When I was walking the dog yesterday morning, I saw a woman let her dog poo in the ivy. Knowing that she never picks up after her dog, but only having caught her once before, I jogged over and said, “Do you need a bag?”

Rather indignantly, she replied, “No.”

“Are you going to pick that up?”

“Why would I? It’s in the ivy.”

I then explained that just because she doesn’t walk in the ivy doesn’t mean that the landscapers don’t have to go in there. And that if no one picked up after their dog, then the grounds would be disgusting. At this point, she was walking away as fast as her little walker could move. I decided to let her go. I feel bad for her dog. Good thing she didn’t try to tell me that she couldn’t because of the walker because I would have explained that she wasn’t picking up her dog poo before her knee problems and that the guy in the wheelchair picks up after his dog, so she can too. I forgot to mention that there is a city ordinance requiring owners to pick up after their dogs and that next time maybe I’ll file a complaint.

But she isn’t the one I called the cops about.

This morning, I opened the door and once again heard the awful alarm sound that I hear every weekend for the last few years. Sometimes it isn’t there, but it started yesterday and hasn’t stopped. It sounds like a bird chirping, but a little louder and constant. Today I decided to find the source. So Perl and I went on a three-mile walk to track it down.

After walking around a couple different industrial buildings, kind of hoping someone would call the cops on me so I could have more people helping to search, I finally tracked it down to an empty suite in the back of a nearly empty building. While I was there taking pictures so I would remember the address later, a guy came out of another building to see what I was doing.

We talked for a bit and he said that sometimes someone comes out and makes it stop, but that it is on every Sunday. I said that it is on Saturdays too because I heard it yesterday when I opened my doors and windows and decided today that it was finally time to investigate.

I called Public Safety, but since it wasn’t an emergency, the standard message said to call back during business hours. As I was walking home, I saw some police officers setting up a speed trap. I asked, “What’s the best way to file a noise complaint?”

“Call dispatch and they can send someone out to check it out. Why?”

“Well, there is an alarm that goes off constantly all weekend and it is driving me crazy.”

“Do you know the address?”

I stated it so quickly and precisely that the officer standing outside with the radar gun laughed at the realization that they had been just caught in my war path. The officer I was talking to said that he would call it in and have someone check it out. I thanked him, and as we were walking away said, “Good luck with your…game.”

The officers were pretty cute. Too bad I was wearing an old sweatshirt and old pants and glasses and hadn’t showered. Now I remember why I’m supposed to dress up to walk the dog.

And now, you’ve all been warned. Don’t piss me off.


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by s on May 29, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Did the old lady have tennis balls on her walker? :-)


  2. K, you are a legend. Snapping at “non-poop picker uppers,” playing a private investigator, and dreaming of steamy law enforcement officers. You, dear friend, are seriously A LEGEND.


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