This is the note that I found on my car today.


A little bit of context is required here. For the last few weeks, I’ve been driving Miss Moneypenny thanks to The Cravat loaning her to me while I had Das Boot on my foot. Myrtle sat idle in my carport and I asked The Archivist, who is in the process of selling her place and moved out months ago, if I could use her carport for Miss Moneypenny. A few days before I said adieu to Das Boot, our carport was painted and I had a friend move Myrtle out into the cold, unprotected wilds next to the porta-potty being used by the painters. Miss Moneypenny eventually ended up in my carport, and now that I’ve been back to driving Myrtle for a week, she has been parked in The Archivist’s spot.

Seeing as The Archivist has not called me in excitement to tell me that her place has sold, and seeing as I just saw her when she came to dinner on Thursday night, I was surprised to see this note on my car today using the word “our” and referring to The Archivist’s carport. She was just as surprised when I sent her the photo.

So I have written a letter “to whomever left the anonymous, threatening note on my car today” and placed it on my car. It took every ounce of self control I had not to use the word “cowardly”. I explained how I broke my foot and have been borrowing a car and will be returning it on Monday. I explained how the owner of the unit graciously allowed me to use her parking space and how we thought it was also a good way to make her place not look abandoned. I also explained that in the months that it has been empty, I have been acting as caretaker, making sure that it is secured and no one has broken in or vandalized the empty unit. I went on to explain that today, while they were writing me a threatening note, I was sitting watch as the paint dried on their newly painted door. We recently had the doors painted, but in order to paint the edges, I had to have my door open for at least four hours. So I took care of my neighbor’s door too while I was home watching the paint dry on my own door.

And the gratitude I received from my supposedly new neighbors was to threaten to call the cops on me.



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