Calling Fate’s Bluff

Recently, I decided to replace my blue, chipped, IKEA plates and bowls. For years now, while I love the color of the blue contrasting with the white of my cabinets, I’ve thought the blue has distorted the colors of my food when I take photos. So I decided I’d get something in white. A good color for my food. Thus when I take photos of my pasta, like this,

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the colors really pop. There was a 20% off discount for Veterans Day weekend, so IKEA blue was replaced by Crate and Barrel white. Yes, I have moved on to the home store of the 40’s crowd. But look at the photos of my pizza!

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Buying new dishes was much harder than you’d expect. Over the last year, I’ve finally given up the idea of ever being able to fill a wedding registry with kitchen gadgets and instead, have been purchasing them on my own. In the last year, I bought myself a KitchenAid stand mixer. I’ve acquired my great grandmother’s silverware. And I bought everyday dishes.

It feels like I’m admitting defeat.

But once, a decade ago, I’d lost my cat. Pablo had disappeared for two weeks. At lunch, one of the other teachers had lost her cat at the same time. She told me about how the day before, she’d given up. She declared her cat dead, cleaned out his litter box and put away his dishes.

I thought I could at least try. So I went home after lunch, put away the dish he used, symbolically cleaned the litterbox that Mitsy still used, and repeated loudly that my cat was dead to me.

That night, another teacher called to say my cat was staring in his windows and it was creepy.

So now, I’m putting away my childhood dishes and saying that this marriage thing just isn’t ever going to happen to me.

Think it will work?

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