Soul Cleansing

I spent almost five hours today steam cleaning my carpet. I could have hired someone to do it, but I needed the release. I needed the time with no talking, no music, no tv—nothing but my own inner thoughts. I needed to clean. I needed to purge the memory of butt-bumping a full glass of red wine. I needed to remove the images of Perl passed out on the floor, her little heart not pumping enough oxygen to keep her conscious. I needed to relive Pablo’s last night as I slept on the floor, waking any time he moved so I could hold him up so he could drink water.

I needed a chance to say goodbye again. 

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